Dear C. (From work),

Since I see you every day and I would say we are on some kind of intimate terms.  I thought that if I wrote this letter to you it might help explain a few things about me.  First of all, I am writing this the night of the power outage.  Every time you kiss me at work, I am afraid of being caught.  That, in itself, is a problem. I don’t know if it is good that I don’t want to be caught or bad.  It is not exactly as if we are dating.  We haven’t seen each other out of work but even if you asked me out on a date I don’t know if I would go.  Not that you aren’t fun.  It is just that I think you would try to go as far as you like, well, to put it simply, I don’t trust you.  I am not sure you are a trustworthy guy.  If I asked you to stop I am not sure you would.  I don’t know if things should progress that far.  On the other hand, I like what you do to me.  I would like to continue it somewhere else where we are not interrupted. Perhaps, if I had a little bit of confidence in me (I don’t like using it for that but…)

What I would really like to know is; what you classify this relationship as, how much does M. know, and I wonder how much you say about M is true.  I am not sounding conceited but I think he may like me.  If that is the case, I don’t now what to do.  I have never received attention from two guys at the same time.

Oh, by the way, that reminds me to tell you, I don’t like playing the prude.  Sometimes, I act a lot braver than I really am.  There are some things I may do that I shouldn’t but life does continue.  I know I am leaving a lot out but basically, I just want to know what the hell is going on.


By the way, I weigh 159 pounds today.