Only thirty-two more days for this school year to be over. And for once I am not afraid to say I want to go home. This has not been the best semester for me. Oh sure, I have had a lot of fun but things are so hectic. I have been living out of a suitcase and I am so tired. I always feel bad, I think it is because I am not eating right. I don’t know who I am living with next year and that worries me. I know I am living with C. and that is starting to make me nervous. I am tired of school and I wonder if I have any friends? I am running out of money and I am seeking male companionship. I am smarter than most in knowing I will not find him at a one night stand. So when guys come home with me it is more or less a joke. The only guy I really respected was M. but I haven’t seen him since and I sometimes wonder if he wasn’t the one? I feel awful because I am so fat, I feel guys don’t like me because of it. I do feel I am prettier, though. Writing this down, I feel so stupid. The way I see it. Thirty days of hell to go than three months of complete silence and then I will be ready for the hectic pace that is college.
You are right, I can hear you now, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself”, you would say.
I will my love, tomorrow.