Only thirty-two more days for this school year to be over. And for once I am not afraid to say I want to go home. This has not been the best semester for me. Oh sure, I have had a lot of fun but things are so hectic. I have been living out of a suitcase and I am so tired. I always feel bad, I think it is because I am not eating right. I don’t know who I am living with next year and that worries me. I know I am living with C. and that is starting to make me nervous. I am tired of school and I wonder if I have any friends? I am running out of money and I am seeking male companionship. I am smarter than most in knowing I will not find him at a one night stand. So when guys come home with me it is more or less a joke. The only guy I really respected was M. but I haven’t seen him since and I sometimes wonder if he wasn’t the one? I feel awful because I am so fat, I feel guys don’t like me because of it. I do feel I am prettier, though. Writing this down, I feel so stupid. The way I see it. Thirty days of hell to go than three months of complete silence and then I will be ready for the hectic pace that is college.
You are right, I can hear you now, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself”, you would say.
I will my love, tomorrow.
L. sure has caused a lot of problems. The party is sinking to the bottom pits of hell. We have $80.00 in alcohol and nowhere to drink it! Which is kind of funny because what will happen I don’t know. If I find nowhere to go I will sneak as much as I can back to school, give some to D. and S., and if C. wants some great. Then S. and I can drink on Sunday. If we do have the party I still will try to sneak some back to school and S. $40.00 is a big deal but I won’t cry about it. How come after I write to you I always feel better?
Yes, it is me. Did you think I was dead? I have had the best time in my life since last we corresponded. It is only now that my life is boring again. That I have decided to contact you. I have completed my first year of college. Intact, for the most part. Some interesting stories. P., D., C. And some wild nights that is a wonder I am still alive. I am living in the dorms next year again. Which is pretty crappy. But it can’t be helped. I am, however, living with N. which is nice. I now work at good old Moskatel’s which has been bought by Michael’s. A guy named C. is getting on my nerves. He is always making inappropriate comments to me and me being the stupid person that I am, well…
Anyway, now he is kissing me, grabbing me, wonderful little things like that. It really annoys me! The big news I bet K. a six pack that I would get a B in Econ and I did! Yeah! Last night, L. G. And I went to see a movie at the Universal Cineplex. While we were on the freeway some lady pulled into our lane. We were almost killed. L. and G. were shaking but I felt great. Sure, I was scared but it felt so good. I felt really alive! Today we went to the Irish Festival, it was fun. My new daydream is that I am married to M. at work so he can get some special wage and we are hiding the fact that we aren’t intimate from C. Did I tell you I am on a massive diet? Weighed in at 175, today, I weigh 166.5 pounds. I won’t stop until I am 140. Watch out world. I am going to be a knockout. Don’t worry my love, I will still love you.
Today, I watched the first ever episode of Tales of the Gold Monkey!
I am very embarrassed and sorry that I haven’t written to you. Well, my fears of a horrible roommate are now put to rest. But school starts tomorrow and unfortunately I think I have really hard classes.
But this semester I joined aerobics and I plan on joining the adventure club and maybe the equestrian team.
I just got a Banana Republic catalog. That whole image sounds great to me. Picture me thin and very tan going rock climbing or rafting or flying, in a fabulous outfit, ha! You know officially my diet and everything has started but I think it will start tomorrow. That way I will stick better to it. I better write a lot so you won’t be mad at me. Let’s see… things are back to normal at my college. Seems like nothing has changed. Yes, I realize it has only been a month. I think I will paint. Au revoir or something like that!
Vaya con Dios!