April 17, 1989

My Dear,

Only thirty-two more days for this school year to be over.  And for once I am not afraid to say I want to go home.  This has not been the best semester for me.  Oh sure, I have had a lot of fun but things are so hectic.  I have been living out of a suitcase and I am so tired.  I always feel bad, I think it is because I am not eating right.  I don’t know who I am living with next year and that worries me.  I know I am living with C. and that is starting to make me nervous.  I am tired of school and I wonder if I have any friends?  I am running out of money and I am seeking male companionship.  I am smarter than most in knowing I will not find him at a one night stand.  So when guys come home with me it is more or less a joke.  The only guy I really respected was M.  but I haven’t seen him since and I sometimes wonder if he wasn’t the one?  I feel awful because I am so fat, I feel guys don’t like me because of it.  I do feel I am prettier, though.  Writing this down, I feel so stupid.  The way I see it.  Thirty days of hell to go than three months of complete silence and then I will be ready for the hectic pace that is college.

You are right, I can hear you now, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself”, you would say.

I will my love, tomorrow.

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August 3, 1988

My Dear,

L. sure has caused a lot of problems.  The party is sinking to the bottom pits of hell.  We have $80.00 in alcohol and nowhere to drink it! Which is kind of funny because what will happen I don’t know.  If I find nowhere to go I will sneak as much as I can back to school, give some to D. and S., and if C. wants some great.  Then S. and I can drink on Sunday.  If we do have the party I still will try to sneak some back to school and S.  $40.00 is a big deal but I won’t cry about it.  How come after I write to you I always feel better?

Lovingly,

June 2, 1988

Dearest,

Yes, it is me.  Did you think I was dead?  I have had the best time in my life since last we corresponded.  It is only now that my life is boring again.  That I have decided to contact you.  I have completed my first year of college. Intact, for the most part.  Some interesting stories.  P., D., C. And some wild nights that is a wonder I am still alive.  I am living in the dorms next year again.  Which is pretty crappy.  But it can’t be helped.  I am, however, living with N. which is nice.  I now work at good old Moskatel’s which has been bought by Michael’s.  A guy named C. is getting on my nerves.  He is always making inappropriate comments to me and me being the stupid person that I am, well…

Anyway, now he is kissing me, grabbing me, wonderful little things like that. It really annoys me! The big news I bet K. a six pack that I would get a B in Econ and I did! Yeah! Last night, L. G. And I went to see a movie at the Universal Cineplex.  While we were on the freeway some lady pulled into our lane.  We were almost killed. L. and G. were shaking but I felt great.  Sure, I was scared but it felt so good. I felt really alive! Today we went to the Irish Festival, it was fun. My new daydream is that I am married to M. at work so he can get some special wage and we are hiding the fact that we aren’t intimate from C.  Did I tell you I am on a massive diet?  Weighed in at 175, today, I weigh 166.5 pounds.  I won’t stop until I am 140.  Watch out world.  I am going to be a knockout.  Don’t worry my love, I will still love you.

Today, I watched the first ever episode of Tales of the Gold Monkey!

Love,

January 24, 1988

I am very embarrassed and sorry that I haven’t written to you.  Well, my fears of a horrible roommate are now put to rest.  But school starts tomorrow and unfortunately I think I have really hard classes.

But this semester I joined aerobics and I plan on joining the adventure club and maybe the equestrian team.

I just got a Banana Republic catalog. That whole image sounds great to me.  Picture me thin and very tan going rock climbing or rafting or flying, in a fabulous outfit, ha!  You know officially my diet and everything has started but I think it will start tomorrow.  That way I will stick better to it.  I better write a lot so you won’t be mad at me.  Let’s see… things are back to normal at my college.  Seems like nothing has changed.  Yes, I realize it has only been a month.  I think I will paint.  Au revoir or something like that!

Vaya con Dios!