July 6, 1988

Dear C. (From work),

Since I see you every day and I would say we are on some kind of intimate terms.  I thought that if I wrote this letter to you it might help explain a few things about me.  First of all, I am writing this the night of the power outage.  Every time you kiss me at work, I am afraid of being caught.  That, in itself, is a problem. I don’t know if it is good that I don’t want to be caught or bad.  It is not exactly as if we are dating.  We haven’t seen each other out of work but even if you asked me out on a date I don’t know if I would go.  Not that you aren’t fun.  It is just that I think you would try to go as far as you like, well, to put it simply, I don’t trust you.  I am not sure you are a trustworthy guy.  If I asked you to stop I am not sure you would.  I don’t know if things should progress that far.  On the other hand, I like what you do to me.  I would like to continue it somewhere else where we are not interrupted. Perhaps, if I had a little bit of confidence in me (I don’t like using it for that but…)

What I would really like to know is; what you classify this relationship as, how much does M. know, and I wonder how much you say about M is true.  I am not sounding conceited but I think he may like me.  If that is the case, I don’t now what to do.  I have never received attention from two guys at the same time.

Oh, by the way, that reminds me to tell you, I don’t like playing the prude.  Sometimes, I act a lot braver than I really am.  There are some things I may do that I shouldn’t but life does continue.  I know I am leaving a lot out but basically, I just want to know what the hell is going on.

Love,

By the way, I weigh 159 pounds today.

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June 2, 1988

Dearest,

Yes, it is me.  Did you think I was dead?  I have had the best time in my life since last we corresponded.  It is only now that my life is boring again.  That I have decided to contact you.  I have completed my first year of college. Intact, for the most part.  Some interesting stories.  P., D., C. And some wild nights that is a wonder I am still alive.  I am living in the dorms next year again.  Which is pretty crappy.  But it can’t be helped.  I am, however, living with N. which is nice.  I now work at good old Moskatel’s which has been bought by Michael’s.  A guy named C. is getting on my nerves.  He is always making inappropriate comments to me and me being the stupid person that I am, well…

Anyway, now he is kissing me, grabbing me, wonderful little things like that. It really annoys me! The big news I bet K. a six pack that I would get a B in Econ and I did! Yeah! Last night, L. G. And I went to see a movie at the Universal Cineplex.  While we were on the freeway some lady pulled into our lane.  We were almost killed. L. and G. were shaking but I felt great.  Sure, I was scared but it felt so good. I felt really alive! Today we went to the Irish Festival, it was fun. My new daydream is that I am married to M. at work so he can get some special wage and we are hiding the fact that we aren’t intimate from C.  Did I tell you I am on a massive diet?  Weighed in at 175, today, I weigh 166.5 pounds.  I won’t stop until I am 140.  Watch out world.  I am going to be a knockout.  Don’t worry my love, I will still love you.

Today, I watched the first ever episode of Tales of the Gold Monkey!

Love,

January 24, 1988

I am very embarrassed and sorry that I haven’t written to you.  Well, my fears of a horrible roommate are now put to rest.  But school starts tomorrow and unfortunately I think I have really hard classes.

But this semester I joined aerobics and I plan on joining the adventure club and maybe the equestrian team.

I just got a Banana Republic catalog. That whole image sounds great to me.  Picture me thin and very tan going rock climbing or rafting or flying, in a fabulous outfit, ha!  You know officially my diet and everything has started but I think it will start tomorrow.  That way I will stick better to it.  I better write a lot so you won’t be mad at me.  Let’s see… things are back to normal at my college.  Seems like nothing has changed.  Yes, I realize it has only been a month.  I think I will paint.  Au revoir or something like that!

Vaya con Dios!